And all I can say is... absolutely.
“I guess you can call me bitter, I don’t know if I would call it that. Perhaps, disappointed sometimes? Perhaps my sense of entitlement is not completely reasonable. Maybe I don’t have a clear idea of who I am and how I fit in with the big picture. I do know that I’ve been doing this for a long time with a very specific voice that I can’t seem to shake… Maybe I’m just one of those people, like a pop band that never really pops, but somehow or another gets some respect in the long run. Maybe I’m just the kind of guy that isn’t going to be famous until I’m dead.
The issue is that I find myself, even given my sensibility and given the fact that I’ve chosen a rough road to hoe, I seek opportunity and I like to be patronized. I like to work for someone that’s going to write me a check.
But, now I’m out in the wilderness again. So, what the fuck is going on with my career? Why can’t I just fit in somewhere? Why can’t I find my niche? And in these dark times in between gigs when I’m not doing what I need to do to put my brand out there because of my fundamental insecurity which is a plague of anybody that is talented—people who are really successful and are capable of selling themselves are usually mediocre. That’s just the truth, because if they have that confidence, they must be lacking in talent. Or else, they’re using all their talent to do that so whatever the product is, they’re just able to shove it into your head so you just jump on board. Or maybe it’s just safe and that’s what people like. That has not been my experience.
So now in one of these dark times, these grey areas when I don’t know what’s going to happen next and I’m just doing what I can to get things going… I’m taking meetings. For me, everything is a life or death situation. My ideas are usually organic, they relate to my life, and when they get rejected all I hear is, “ You stink. You’re not good enough. Thank you for telling your story, you sad Bastard. Good luck with everything. Be in touch. Oh yeah! You’re a genius. Keep doing what you’re doing out there, for whoever you do it for. But, we can’t let you in here because there’s no way we can sell your shit.” Okay. Maybe I’m making stuff up.”
–Marc Maron
