hit me with your best shot.

An open letter to restaurant and retail managers,

Don’t jerk me around, okay? I’ve been unemployed since May. It’s nearly August. I am fully aware that, educationally, I’m overqualified for this job. I also know, all too well, that I spent all my energy in college securing writing-intensive jobs to prepare for the working world and have absolutely no restaurant or retail experience to put on my application and am, therefore, under qualified. I get it. My full time job is rejection, I can take it from you.

I’ve gotten a full course of run-arounds, but yesterday, it got to be too much.

“Hi. I’m turning in my application for your open hostess position.” Man takes it and looks it over.
“Okay. I’ll have to discuss this with the other managers, and get back to you.”
“Can I schedule an interview now? Is the hiring manager in?” (word to other unemployeds, FORCE the interview.)
“Well, I’m the hiring manager. But. Stallingstallingstalling. I need to talk it over with the other managers.”
“Are you actively hiring hostesses?”
“Yes.”

Awkward moment of silence staring at each other.

He’s not hiring me.

“Can I call you sometime tomorrow to schedule the interview?”
“No. We’ll call you.”

I can seat people. I promise. I’m very friendly. I’m incredibly friendly and good at knowing where tables are and handing people menus. I hate you.

"Great! I look forward to hearing from you! Can I order a beer while I'm sitting here?"
"Uhm... yeah. Let me get the bartender for you..."