I read in an article in the employment section of the newspaper that the way you dress is one of the most important parts of the interview process. One supervisor, consulted because he makes incredibly frequent hires for a large company, explained that he recently declined to hire the most qualified candidate for an open position because his collar had buttons, but it was not buttoned. He said, “If he can’t button his collar, I don’t want him in my office.”
I panicked. Maybe it was my wardrobe keeping me from employment. I had sported a very smart and professional navy blue shirt dress with a pair of patent leather red heels, red earrings, and a red necklace to my last two interviews. I figured I was mixing business professional with a little bit of fun to keep me current and to stand out from the other applicants.
But, suddenly, I thought that interviewers didn’t take me seriously in my shoes. Perhaps I looked “too” fun. (Hello? Is that even possible? Psh, oh real world… you’re so boring.) So, for Monday’s interview, I absolutely obsessed over my chosen outfit. I even asked the boyfriend for advice… which is an absolutely ridiculous thing to do because (a) he wears t-shirts he got for free from work and paint-stained shorts every day (one of the reasons I adore him) and (b) if he says he likes something, I won’t trust him because I assume he’s only saying it so as not to piss me off and (c) if he says he doesn’t like something, it pisses me off.
I finally settled on a nice white oxford collared shirt, a high-waisted knee-length plaid woolen skirt my mother bought in the 70’s in Scotland, and simple brown loafers.
Shit. If that one guy figured that neglecting to button your collar buttons shows the kind of remiss attitude toward details that he does not want infecting his office… what will a wool skirt in JULY suggest? Why would they hire a girl that doesn’t even know her seasons? I could see it, “well, she’s certainly the best candidate… but I just don’t trust someone wearing late autumn and winter fashions in mid summer.”
Whatever. I wore it anyway. It was too late.
I found out something even worse when arriving to the office. I was scheduled for a group interview. Group interview? Now, I understand that I have been knocked down about 20 babillion pegs on the self-worth wall since graduation but… I don’t even get my own appointment? I felt like this was a trip to the bar; nonchalantly trying to grab the attention of a stranger. Plus, I was first one there, requiring me to wait on the other, probably better dressed (and further qualified but--- whatevz), applicants.
Entering: competition #1: A heavily built girl, not fat, just large busted with a strong hip line. A skintight pair of grey slacks with iridescent silver pin stripes. A black busting-at-the-buttons collared shirt with a slightly differently styled, sparkly white, pin stripped pattern over a very low cut lacy camisole. Long, fake, sequined, eye lashes. Bleached hair with hot pink tips, pulled half back with two long sections hanging in front of her face. True story. I swear.
Entering: competition #2: a petite dark skinned beauty in a pair of brown slacks hanging off her hips. She wore a nice dark sweater with a deep vee in the front highlighting her cleavage, and a sizable cut out in the back. Flip flops. Flip flops. (Sorry, it needed saying twice.)
My competition was not interview wardrobe ready. And though I was informed that this was not the only group interview, how could I not beat out these two? In the interview-bar social competition… I was the slightly-drunk, easily-convinced-looking hot blonde in tight jeans and a halter top.
A few days later I got an email that I didn’t get the job. I think it was the wool skirt in July. Who would hire someone who wore a wool skirt in July? Shit.
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