Call? I'll just stop by!

So, I recently applied for a technical writer position at a nuclear-technology company. It’s some type of nuclear I-don’t-know… but more importantly… they’re taking technical writers with 0-3 years experience.

While I was sitting in my office, working on my full time job-search, (my office is Panera. They have free wifi, unlimited refills on coffee, and sandwiches. About 46.7% of the people sitting in a Panera at any given moment are using it as their office) I decided to look up the number for the company, so I could call and follow up… ya know… show my tenacity and drive.

I called the general number, it just rang and rang without an answer nor a machine. Sadly, that was the only number I could find.

Good news! Their address was less than a mile from my high-powered corporate office. Waltzing in with a copy of my resume (yes, I do keep at least ten copies in my car at all times…I’m a professional) and my red I-mean-business-heels will certainly give me an edge over the other applicants.

Putting the address into my GPS, I leisurely drove over and turned onto a short access road… that lasted a half mile. Then I had to sign in at a little kiosk, which struck me as a bit odd.
I kept driving.

And then, suddenly, like New York City after the tunnel (except not as exciting because your best friends don’t live there and no one is about to take you out for the best night of your life) appeared four gigantic office buildings covered in the really official looking reflective mirror walls. You know, the ones on the really SERIOUS buildings.

After following six signs to “guest parking” I pulled in to see little pods of khaki and collared shirted awkward boys walking in groups of three or four, insulated lands’ end lunch bags in hand.

This idea sucked. But, damnit, I’m already here.

I walked up to the nearest building to see people using their ID’s to swipe in for access to the building. I stood at the large desk with a single female security officer sitting behind the desk. She was eating her lunch and didn’t notice me for a few moments.

“You didn’t even say anything!” she accused once noticing me.
Well, this company isn’t paying me… yet… I'm not going to do your job for you. “I was wondering if you could direct me to the HR office.”
“It ain’t in this building. Why do you need it?”
“Well, I recently applied for a position online, and I was looking to follow up.”
“You’re gonna have to go online.”
“I already did, that’s how I applied for the position.”
She scoffed and took out a huge blue three ring binder filled with laminated pieces of office paper. “You’re not going to believe this. This is the phone book.” She opened it to let me see the small print.
Look, lady, I already experienced the shock and awe of the overwhelming size of this office when I drove up here. I’m not stupid. I know these aren’t empty office buildings. I am completely aware that a lot of people work here. I'm trying to be one of them. “So, you have the number for the HR office?”
Another scoff, “No. It’s just last name and first initial. There are way too many people here to have their departments.”
Why are you so dissatisfied with your life? You’re employed. Stop being so angry! Now I’m getting angry at you being angry! “Well… with so many people working here, don’t you think that’s rather inefficient?”
“Excuse me?”
“Thank you” Get an answering machine for your phone. This company can afford it.

I left and went back to my car. Back at the office, I scoured the website for a number, even an email address to contact the HR or hiring department. Nothing.

Just dropping into the agency to follow up? FAIL.